So you know how everyone is talking about “diversity toolkits” and getting them, so that magically, when something racist or sexist or homophobic happens in the workplace, you just open up the tool kit and use some appropriately taught language to educate the person.

Whatever.

Maysie’s Diveristy Toolkit will contain the following (pictures to follow very soon)

1.  A Diversity Mallet. It’s for bonking people who refuse to “get it” as often as needed. Suggestions have been made to upgrade this to a “Diversity Sledgehammer” but then it won’t fit so neatly into the toolbox.

2. A Brain. This is used as a visual prop, as in “Use your brains, people!”

3. A small sign on a stick that says “LISTEN!”

4. When that doesn’t work, a small sign that says “SHUT UP!” 

5. A globe, to put aside the wrong-headed notion of the term “visible minority”

6. A copy of “Becoming an Ally” by Anne Bishop with supplemental copies of my essay “Being an Ally. A Real Ally, not a Faux-Ally” 

More items to be added as necessary. Suggestions?